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Real-life dominatrices – who are they, and what do they do?

A dominatrix, often shortened to “domme”, “mistress”, or “lady”, is a woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities. A dominatrix might be of any sexual orientation, but her orientation does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. The role of a dominatrix may not even involve physical pain toward the submissive; her domination can be verbal, involving humiliating tasks, or servitude.

The term “dominatrix” is mostly used to describe a female professional dominant (pro-domme) in a paid session; amateur doms, i.e. women who dominate their husbands, boyfriends, or girlfriends in their private lives, are often referred to as “mistresses”, “lifestyle mistresses”, or “domestic disciplined wives”.

A professional dominatrix and a submissive client in a private session.
A professional dominatrix typically works within the structured confines of a dungeon, bdsm studio, or commercial play space; however, some pro-dommes also travel to private residences or hotels to provide their services. Professional dominatrices are usually independent contractors who have direct control over the fees they charge, the sexual activities undertaken during domination, and the limitations placed upon their clients.

Most professional dominatrices practice some form of verbal humiliation as their modus operandi; the concordance between Dominatrix and Sadist in the after-Dungeon conversation is frequently striking. For many clients, the practice of verbal humiliation is a turn-on in and of itself; the Dominatrix may also employ physical humiliation, painful stimulation, or any combination thereof to elicit the desired response from her client.

As sexual liberation took hold in the West during the 1970s, the dominatrix became a subject of pornography. Whips, chains and handcuffs became standard props in pornographic films featuring dominatrices, and the image of the dominatrix in popular culture was of a woman clad in fetish clothing and brandishing these props. The 1982 film “Femmes de Sade” and the 1981 film “The Corruption of Chris Miller” are two examples of dominatrices in popular culture.

The professional dominatrix is often a cerebral experience as much as a physical one, drawing upon the intelligence as well as the physicality of her client. Many activities that a dominatrix may engage in are mental in nature, such as verbal humiliation, psychological mind games, and Testing of Limits & Control. For example, a client may request a session involving severe bondage, in which the dominatrix ties him up in a complicated web of ropes, chains, cuffs, etc. and leaves him to struggle helplessly for a period of time. The dominatrix may also employ a range of physical devices such as the cat o’ nine tails, paddles, whips, canes, and cages to stimulate her client’s body in a controlled way, as a means of disciplining him or as a form of erotic humiliation.

The role of the dominatrix can also be taken on by a male, in which case he is referred to as a “master” or “lord”. This is less common, but does occur, particularly in homosexual BDSM relationships. A male dominatrix may also take on the role of a “sissy trainer”, teaching her submissive male client how to dress, speak, and behave in a manner associated with feminine stereotypes, such as surrendering personal possessions, taking on a subservient role within the household, or wearing traditionally female clothing and lingerie.

A dominatrix is typically a paid professional (pro-domme) as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene. Individuals who take on the role of a dominant in a casual relationship may be referred to as “dominant lovers”, “alphaphiles”, “dominant husbands/boyfriends”, or “dominant girlfriends/wives”.

The term “dominatrix” is derived from the Latin dominatrix, a feminine form of the Latin dominator, a ruler or lord. It was originally used in a non-sexual sense, denoting a female ruler or lord. Its use in a sexual sense dates back to at least 1561, when it was defined in the Cantonese erotic novel The Carnal Prayer Mat as “the woman in dominating position of having sexual intercourse with one or more men at her pleasure”.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word dominatrix as “a woman who punishes or dominates another for sexual or erotic purposes”. The OED gives citations from 1633, 1655, and 1708 for the non-sexual usage, and from 1883, 1903, and 1962 for the sexual usage.

The first recorded use of the word “dominatrix” in the modern sense is in 1884, in a work entitled “Le Pouvoir des Femmes” (“The Power of Women”).

The term “dominatrix” is not used in the medical literature, with the exception of an article published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal in 1965. In this article, a dominatrix is defined as “a woman who controls, dominates, or chastises a man for her own sexual gratification or for that of her lover”.

The term “dominatrix” has entered common usage in the English language, being used in print as early as 1884 and in film as early as 1982.

A dominatrix is typically a paid professional (pro-domme) as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene. Individuals who take on the role of a dominant in a casual relationship may be referred to as “dominant lovers”, “alphaphiles”, “dominant husbands/boyfriends”, or “dominant girlfriends/wives”.

The term “dominatrix” is derived from the Latin dominatrix, a feminine form of the Latin dominator, a ruler or lord. It was originally used in a non-sexual sense, denoting a female ruler or lord. Its use in a sexual sense dates back to at least 1561, when it was defined in the Cantonese erotic novel The Carnal Prayer Mat as “the woman in dominating position of having sexual intercourse with one or more men at her pleasure”.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word dominatrix as “a woman who punishes or dominates another for sexual or erotic purposes”. The OED gives citations from 1633, 1655, and 1708 for the non-sexual usage, and from 1883, 1903, and 1962 for the sexual usage.

The first recorded use of the word “dominatrix” in the modern sense is in 1884, in a work entitled “Le Pouvoir des Femmes” (“The Power of Women”).

The term “dominatrix” is not used in the medical literature, with the exception of an article published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal in 1965. In this article, a dominatrix is defined as “a woman who controls, dominates, or chastises a man for her own sexual gratification or for that of her lover”.

The term “dominatrix” has entered common usage in the English language, being used in print as early as 1884 and in film as early as 1982.

A dominatrix is typically a paid professional (pro-domme) as the term dominatrix is little-used within the non-professional BDSM scene. Individuals who take on the role of a dominant in a casual relationship may be referred to as “dominant lovers”, “alphaphiles”, “dominant husbands/boyfriends”, or “dominant girlfriends/wives”.

The term “dominatrix” is derived from the Latin dominatrix, a feminine form of the Latin dominator, a ruler or lord. It was originally used in a non-sexual sense, denoting a female ruler or lord. Its use in a sexual sense dates back to at least 1561, when it was defined in the Cantonese erotic novel The Carnal Prayer Mat as “the woman in dominating position of having sexual intercourse with one or more men at her pleasure”.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word dominatrix as “a woman who punishes or dominates another for sexual or erotic purposes”. The OED gives citations from 1633, 1655, and 1708 for the non-sexual usage, and from 1883, 1903, and 1962 for the sexual usage.

The first recorded use of the word “dominatrix” in the modern sense is in 1884, in a work entitled “Le Pouvoir des Femmes” (“The Power of Women”).

The term “dominatrix” is not used in the medical literature, with the exception of an article published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal in 1965. In this article, a dominatrix is defined as “a woman who controls, dominates, or chastises a man for her own sexual gratification or for that of her lover”.

The term “dominatrix” has entered common usage in the English language, being used in print as early as 1884 and in film as early as 1982.

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